The Life of a Stuckbury

Many of our unhealthy attachments and fears reside in our unconscious mind where old outdated beliefs seem to just operate on automatic pilot, you see or hear a certain trigger event and then unpleasant feelings and/or negative actions just seem to fire off uncontrollably.  The Stuckbury has struck!

Rage, anger, arrogance, uncontrolled desire, and violence, as well as self-pity, melancholy, loneliness, boredom, dissatisfaction, inadequacy, insecurity or jealousy are some of the most common examples of a Stuckbury expressing itself.

These Stuckburys are tremendously powerful. They can debilitate our lives in a long, slow process or they can do it quick as a flash. A life-long friendship may come to an end with few words; continual suspicion or criticism of a partner may lead to divorce; irrational fear can see us make disastrous choices; low self worth can lead to under-achievement.

What Stuckbury is residing in your unconscious?

• Anger at a perceived unfairness or criticism
• Jealousy of another’s achievements
• Resentment of a relationship gone wrong
• Rage at being invalidated or overlooked
• Fear, withdrawal or inaction when confronted with something new
• Mistrust and avoidance of intimacy
• Get them before they get you attitude

Some of the responses we have to these negative emotions include -

• Verbal abuse, screaming, yelling
• Physical lashing out at someone
• Smashing or destroying something
• Throwing things
• Withdrawing emotionally, sulking
• Running away

All these responses are typically ‘infantile’ and childish which are precisely what the Stuckburys are all about – childhood ‘traumas’ and experiences.

After our spontaneous emotional (and often physical) outbursts, the Stuckbury continues to strongly reside within us and further strengthens our feelings of shame, humiliation, powerlessness, guilt, rejection, fear, sadness, betrayal, physical exhaustion ….

Continuous accumulation of, and holding on to, our Stuckburys hamper our health and our happiness.  Are you holding on or are you ready to dissolve their effects?

What is a Stuckbury?

A Stuckbury is a lump of glob that sits cosily waiting for the moment to make an impact.  It is patient, waiting for the right trigger to pop its hairy head out from its hiding place.  It is the dark spot that attracts everything unlike love to it.

A Stuckbury is a residue of ‘trauma’ left from early in life, when everything that we experienced was ‘right’.  Maybe that trauma was being born too early and having to be put into a humidicrib, detached from the one person we had been sharing our whole life with.  It may have been hearing a harmless argument between our parents or being left to cry for longer than we could cope with.  It may have stemmed from being named after a highly revered grandparent who had died before we were born.  The birth of a sibling, the death of someone close, being told we were naughty or silly or a pain in the neck. Maybe being locked in a room by a mischievous friend. It may have even been from constantly being given everything we wanted!

The fact is, that our experiences early in our lives, when we were innocent and relatively empty little vessels, define our perceptions of ourselves and what we should expect from our life.  Cast your mind to a newborn child – take in the innocence, the love that this little body encompasses.  Who doesn’t feel some sort of warm emotion when a little baby is present?  We all began our lives like that but along the way, life happened.

So now, whenever we come across an experience which takes us ‘back’ to the original cause of our lopsided perception, that toxic little Stuckbury is stirred into action and the result is an emotional response that affects our life by effectively blocking off the potential for love, prosperity and success.

Can we get rid of our Stuckburys?  When we deal with the root cause,  we are no longer affected negatively and we are not triggered emotionally in a way that blocks us from being the person we want to be, doing the things we want to do and having the things we want to have.